Thursday, November 18, 2004

The "holidays"

Something about this time of year really gets to people. I never understood until recently, before then I was too naive to notice all things happening around me.

This is the second year in a row that a grade school classmate of mine has committed suicide. Both happened leading up to Thanksgiving. Both were fun guys to hang around with whom I grew further and further apart as time went by, but I still felt like I knew them, or at least the child in them went we both were younger.

Patrick was one of the shortest boys in the class while I was one of the tallest, yet his personality was huge and everyone loved hanging out with and talking to him. I still remember one of our mutual friends, who is about my height, went to the movies together once. The man in the booth said, "Oh isn't that nice, you are taking your little brother out the movies." My tall friend had to correct him saying, "He's isn't my brother, he is my friend"

Colin's death was equally sad and tragic. Colin and I were best friends up until 4th grade. I can't tell you exactly what happened, maybe it was the pursuit of coolness (and trust me, I wasn't it). Colin was an amazing drawer, a brilliant mind, but his lust for fun-loving and popularity made him pass up other schools to go to UVM with his friends; he was a National Merit Scholarship Finalist. Soon there after, he realized that he wasn't happy there and went on and off to the U and waited tables at Bacci in downtown Salt Lake. From what I heard he was happy, but clearly I was wrong.

One of his best friend and relative of mine, John, is still shaken up by it. I couldn't bring myself to go to the funeral, and I don't think I was necessarily invited.

Sorry to leave everyone with such a sad, depressing post of the day, but I guess it serves as a reminder that as bad as your family or life in general seems around this time of year where the sun doesn't come out much, there is still much to live for and to keep trying. I haven't always been the happiest of souls, but I never got even close to where Patrick and Colin found themselves. And I am glad for it because I would have never found myself with my fiancee and where I am today. I am surrounded by smart people who care about the issues I care about, although many have different opinions than me, it is still exciting.

As tired and stressed out as I am right now, I am looking forward to the weekends and to next semester and really to my wedding in June. There is so much live out there yet to live. So watch out for yourselves and your friends and family this holiday season; make sure they don't head down the road that Colin and Patrick took.

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