Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Larry Larry quite contrary

(Actual booking photos, courtesy of THE USA Today's Kathy Kiely)
without a shred of truth or evidence to the contrary, the Statesman has engaged in this witch hunt. In pleading guilty, I overreacted in Minneapolis, because of the stress of the Idaho Statesman’s investigation and the rumors it has fueled around Idaho. Again, that overreaction was a mistake, and I apologize for my misjudgment.

Shorter Sen. Craig: If it weren't for that newspaperman looking through my underwear drawers to find out whether or not it was true that I was gay, I wouldn't have propositioned myself to a undercover cop.

This line of defense is not as laughable as Bob Allen's "I'm racist, not gay" defense, but I guess that is why Bob Allen is state senator, and Larry Craig is a full senator (the previous "wide stance" defense didn't work).

This reminds me of another cartoonishly closeted character from a Tony Award-winning play, Ron, who's song is about as believable as Craig's version of events.

(Rod and John Tartaglia, singing "My girlfriend who lives in Cananda from Avenue Q. Image courtesy of Playbill.com)
I wish you could meet my girlfriend, my girlfriend who lives in Canada.
She couldn't be sweeter
I wish you could meet her,
My girlfriend who lives in Canada!

Her name is Alberta
She live in Vancouver
She cooks like my mother
And sucks like a Hoover.

I e-mail her every single day
Just to make sure that everything's okay.
It's a pity she lives so far away, in Canada!

Last week she was here, but she had the flu.
Too bad
'Cause I wanted to introduce her to you
It's so sad
There wasn't a thing that she could do
But stay in bed with her legs up over her head!

I wish you could meet my girlfriend,
But you can't because she is in Canada.
I love her, I miss her, I can't wait to kiss her,
So soon I'll be off to Alberta!
I mean Vancouver!
Shit! Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancou-

Both guys need to work on keeping their stories straight. Pleading guilty about a month after the incident means he had plenty of time to get an attorney or even just ask one. If it really was a misunderstanding, as he has claim, he would have fought it and not pled guilty ASAP.

This story looks to be staying around for a while. Even if the local media in Utah are pretending nothing is happening in Idaho.

UPDATE: The local media finally pick up the ball, thanks AP wire stories. Note, only the Trib has used this, no DesNews yet.

1 comment:

JM Bell said...

I think it's pathetic that Craig thinks that being gay means turning tricks in public restrooms.

What a gigantic asshat.