Thursday, October 07, 2004

Once again, John Stewart Nails it on the Head

(Last night's Daily Show)
"Last night, Vice President Dick Cheney faced off against North Carolina Senator John Edwards for their first and only vice presidential debate. Now for those of you who missed the debate, there were several ways you could summarize it. One of them would be this. ... [pic of Cheney] Grrrrrr! ... [pic of Edwards] Golly! ... [pic of Cheney] Grrrrrr! ... [pic of Edwards] Goooolly! ... [pic of Cheney] Rarrrr! ... [pic of Edwards] Jeepers! ... Or perhaps we could describe the encounter as a battle between Edwards, the courtly Southern student council-ass-kiss-ocity. ... Did you get the apple I sent you? did you get it? ... And of course there was that versus Cheney's um ... [clip of Cheney: 'Terrorists could smuggle a deadly biological agent or nuclear weapon into the middle of one of our own cities.'] ... unnerving troll-under-the-bridge bogeyman mentality. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this battle station. ... The early part of the debate focused on Iraq -- the growing insurgency, a failure to find WMDs, or a link with al Qaeda, and a promise before the war that our soldiers would be greeted as liberators. Vice President Cheney displayed the growth that he's achieved through the crucible of war. ... [clip of Cheney: 'What we did in Iraq was exactly the right thing to do, if I had it to recommend all over again I would recommend exactly the same course of action. And we did exactly the right thing.'] ... Yes, there's nothing like 20-20 blind sight. Are you insane? Do you have a television? ... Actually, the vice president has learned one thing -- why it's been so difficult to build a coalition. ... [clip of Cheney: 'It's hard after John Kerry referred to our allies as a coalition of the coerced and the bribed to go out and persuade people to send troops.'] ... So John Kerry criticizing you in the Fall of 2004 is what prevented you from building a coalition in the Spring of 2003? That's power. ... But how in any way does that affect your administration?"
More Stewart: "But Cheney fought back at charges he'd led America into a paralyzing and costly war, with the equally powerful charge of truancy. ... [clip of Cheney: 'The first time I met you was on stage tonight.'] ... Really? You guys never exchanged a friendly 'Go f*** yourself' in the hallway? ... Actually, that criticism would be an awfully damning statement, if it were true, and this videotape of the 2 men together at a 2001 Prayer Breakfast didn't exist. Or if Cheney had actually presided over one of those Tuesday Senate sessions more than twice in the past 4 years. But still, you know, good zinger. ... Edwards, not known for his attacking style, took it to the vice president on the subject of Halliburton. ... [clip of Cheney: 'I could respond Gwen, but it'll take more than 30 seconds.' Ifill: 'Well that's all you've got.'] ... Ouch. Ladies and gentleman, you just witnessed a rare failure of the legendary Cheney charm. ... Cornered, Cheney pounced. ... [clip of Cheney: 'They're trying to throw up a smokescreen. ... They know if you go to ... you can get the specific details with respect to Halliburton.'] ... Actually funny story -- if you go to, you'll be re-routed and learn that George Bush is endangering our safety and must not be re-elected in a message from billionaire investor George Soros. So, Cheney actually had a slight factual error on his fact check reference. What Cheney meant to say is, which is a non-partisan clearinghouse of politicians statements, which leads today with an item about, yes, how Cheney got their web address wrong. ... Now, I know that this is confusing, but even more confusing is what happened to me when I went to my computer and typed in ... Now, it wasn't all Iraq, all the time. Cheney and Edwards did move into social issues, like gay-ness. ... [clip of Edwards: 'I think the vice president and his wife love their daughter ... and you can't have anything but respect that they're willing to talk about the fact that they have a gay daughter.'] ... Yes, we admire your love for your [yells] gay daughter! In fact, if there's a more loving father of a [yells] gay daughter, I haven't seen him and I for one know that your [yells] gay daughter is very proud of you. Mr Vice President, care to comment on your [yells] gay daughter? ... [clip of Cheney: 'Let me thank the senator for the kind words he said about my family.'] ... Umm, she's here, she's queer, next question. ... When the evening was over, the candidates greeted their families onstage. Edwards, scooping up young son Jack and daughter Emma Claire in a sign of virility. Several grunts and a herniated disc later, the vice president matched him by power-lifting his family in one hand"

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